old feelings with new things

was revising on the exam ,really hope can pass this time.,so hard but back of the mind is thinking of the holidays that is coming, sometimes i think i did not choose this course,but i know that this course that i take is not by chance, it was someone that encourage me, although that someone is not around with me , but in her place others people had filled in. the void is big , but is getting smaller.

So all the best for today exam!!!!

wanted to stop cursing... hate to use words that hurt people , i remember i was not like that. what happen?

is it i reach a point that i cannot stop or i do not bothers, really really tired... wanted to stop ministry , wanted to stop going cg, wanted to stop going places. wanted to stop and just stay back and behind. of course this are funny thoughts, negative thoughts. should not be in the mind at all

blogging b4 work

hmmm.. i am now at singtel com centre, if u know where is it... so tired... sleep last then 4 hours. Now waiting for the client to come.. doing yesterday job which was supposed to be done... but server having problem.. looking around me, nobody is here.. cars are few in orchard at this time.. but daylight came up just nice and look calm and blue...

while blogging, was thinking at the prayer meeting that happening around singapore now... must be cool and fun.. did not go for anyone of the meeting yet..

my fren, Adrian say that i blog too short and straight to the point. i believed that blogging is supposed to be short and and hit the nail on the spot . right? if not then how to express the thoughts fast...

my dear dog, Pepper. having the itch again... getting serious... fur is like felling off .. arhhhhhhh
Need to bring her to vet asap.

hmmm have a great day ahead.... haha (talking to myself)

Arise and Build and time loss

finally the Arise and Build is here... and i have pledge the amount that i did not prepare at all....
maybe too little that i think ... But hope that is the amount that is really i need to give...

this few weeks has been busy busy... was looking at my weeks ahead.. realise i had not much time... going to end of year.. and i am still "hollow"

giving time to pple does not help, spending time in ministry does not help.. giving time to cg does not help..

maybe is the beginning that started too late , that why...

recently i found my self getting crude and crude in words, turning "bad" like a rotten banana..

I do not believe in heaven... but i believe in angels... I believe in Hell...

those of the words that was really in my mind...


watching her sitting there... haiz... got to shake it out of my mind..

It is important to find a world that belong to us

Life is meaningful only when we find this world

Disheartened

Exam is officially over... hope i get the marks that i want...

yesterday was doing the networking paper.. wow i was sad to say .. i think i crap it... did not bring calc that one thing and forget how to use the methods.. i blame myself for not doing the due revision for it.. It ALL my FAULT!!!

pressure at Home... cause me to lost that focus..


on a Side note, COngrats to Victor have a newborn son name Alexander, short for Alex .. haha same name as me.. pray he have a diff route i had.... i Know Victor will be a good father... and karen will be a great MUM...

What the dash in ur life

TOday was FOP last day.. i went there ,just thinking i was another FOP that i been to so many time.. EVEN now got new bands in the FOP.. it did not bring much excitements in me.. but never the less i enjoy it.. even brought the CD... Is the message that really make me thinking.. THe qns What did you do in your life on earth.. when GOD ask.. this qns really ring in my mind .. so on ur Tombstone other then the year of ur birth and death of ur year.. The DASH in the middle is important.. that was told in the message.. i look back this two years what i had been doing... what was in my mind all this time so foolish... still thinking, still pondering.. still have that small little hope.. but of cos the reality is difference from dream. so i decide to take that ring off my car.. yes i did it i took it out ( i can heard the people cheering for me..) time to move another step i told myself.. slow but yeah still moving ahead guys... felt glad i did that.. that why i want to write it out to remind myself the step i took..


-alex