wee hours blogging...

was reading people's blog.. and seem that people are looking for something and really believe in it.. of course it make me think ... and really feel life is so much more loud and quiet in the same time.. loud in the voice of people around me shouting their views and quiet in my heart to hear GOD's voice..

really do not understand, why i am still angry or sad?.. ask myself what u really want?
in the eyes of people what am i ??? it really does not matters now... now matters is Here in my life . where am i... maybe becos now i am in a crossroad.. when i finally pick myself up now.. going to a new CG and thinking of a new ministry.. being christian for so long really does not prepare me well for this..
in cg learn on Faith, Faithfulness, Fruitiness. yeah sometimes think that i need faith so much now and faithfulness has weaken and no fruit now..
my church mate say take time .. not to rush... sometimes i really want to be back normal again real quick.. real fast... see that joy that i misplaced

looking in the past for answer or advice? just silent.. no sound .. no voice...
Present so confused...
future unknown...

so in the end TRust GOD ... is it the right way ?