today.. stay at hme.. and went dinner with my parents to eat the ''3 bowl soup'' resturant... ate the chicken and pick with lecttuce.. it tastes great..

great time spent with my dad, after we went to see his church perform.... it was ok.. till it started to rain...

hmm 3 days till christmas...

i ask myself why i am like that... am i putting up a front... strong front... yet inside i am very weak...

i try to hold on now for the sake of others.... not for myself anymore... i feel so tried... why i become like that..

why i become like that...

happy bday

happy birthday....

same birthday... same person.... same life... but diff feeling...

sad sight

today was going to work around in the morning. went to my car and start up.. i wind down my window as usual.. when going down from level 4 to level 3.. i notice two kittens laying on the floor. i thought to myself that they were sleeping, but as i look closely then i feel weird. so i start to call out to the two kittens.. no respond.. so i park my car at level 3 and walk over .. to my horror the kittens are dead... arhhhhhhh.. when i say dead i mean really dead.. one of them the face was... bash up till the eye ball drop out... blood everywhere... oh man i shouted out i cannot believed someone did this !!! thinking of removing the bodies of the kitten.. but do not know how.... afraid the blood.... so i deicde to call SPCA to report this.. while i doing this then came a merc cab ... the driver came out and saw the kittens and start to take pics. and show me a signs that the kittens is dead... Crap lah!!! what is he/she thinking!!!! feel like slapping him or run over him with my car!!!!

called the city search for the SPCA tel.. finally got it and call them.. then the person on the line say maybe it is accident. she say a car reverse on them, rubbish!!! two kittens at the same time!!!! rubbish!!!.....i say is animal abuse she say that i need proof for animal abuse. then call the police. (the kittens is dead what proof u want).. haiz.. so i ask how to remove the bodies ,she ask me call HDB.. CRAP!!! then she hang up... CRap!!! so i decided to look around for cleaner as i loking my hp ring again.. is the lady call again... NOw she ask for the address and location of the kittens... NOw that the right thing to do !!!!! she say someone will come down .. then with much distress i left the MSCP(muti-storey carpark)
1 hr later i received a call from SPCA.. they say went down and did not find the bodies.. the cleaner must have remove it...
i still cannot think that a person will do that to cats.. IF u do not like cats do not hurt it.. LEAVE them alone!!!

i had taken the pic too in-case i need proof of the kittens.. will post it up... soon.. or maybe not...

wow.. Christmas round the corner..... yet so many things not done yet...
still waiting for the person own me money to pay me back asap, then i can buy my new hp or a new wallet... being waiting so long...

asked one fren to join me for christmas svc this year., he agreed to come so let hope he come.
being really do not want to ask pple to join me for christmas as i am in this state..

now i know... she left a drop of tears in my heart..

was driving and thinking what was this year about... this year has been victory and loses..

what i miss.. what i had.. what i have lost.. what i have gain... of cos i hope next year will be better?

is it so fast for pple to change their character or behaviour? 180 degrees change..

in my heart i know it is done.. cannot be change... of cos i hope nothing happen.. but no..