was sick for few days... but also being take care by someone... really touch my heart...

feel so love but in the other hand feel so bad.. becos i did not give a proper answer ...

really do not know how and what will it be.. feel crazy inside.... feel like telling the answer to her but can't.. why?!!!!!!


haiz....

Must pray!!!!!

i feel so bad and really not sure... this time is it for real? or just let it pass ...

too late for me i supposed....

Earth Hour 2009

Support Earth Hour!!!! Do your part!!!

mindless words

hmm.. work work.. now still working at Rabobank.. doing some installation.. yesterday have a talk with my boss, he reminded me again on doing my self research in my work.. in other words.. upgrade my skill sets..

Results are out: i got C, C, B haha ccb sound bad... not bad lah for last min studies...

recently being taking steps to move on... but everytime i want to, i will hold back or hestiate on things i want to do and will feel that step what it where it will lead to.. afraid will lead down the same road really afraid... sometime i feel my mouth just too big... but i just need to, do not care or push through . if no pain how to learn right? Right?

i ask myself, why will things be come this way, and i realised that i still not able to change to the person i set for myself to change . not here or there.. disappointed in myself..

at least this week , i have a talk out with a "clueless" fren of mine.. Thanks her for being there.. and really thanks for her understanding..

there a lot of chatters recently in my life. sometime i feel why so noisy ... need to clear my mine... think am i worth it , am i really want to get in to this ........
need to think

feb

time flies .. .. end of feb soon. this month ended so fast... of cos it ended with great "fine" month
got fine.. i total up my fines and got a sum of $160 man how did i park my car !!!!! there goes my GST rebates.

yes exam started fast and ended fast, really thanks God...

feb was valentine's day season so how did all of you spent time with. I went ikea with my parents haha.. of cos i did sent flowers ....taking that step again

anyway march coming. sch holidays now yeah!!! discover a great place to be.. when need to be alone.. and be away from all the noises...

now in work, learning new things again.. time to pick up the thinking cap and really learn..

on a side note:

COngrats Junjie and Elly!!!! got engaged!!!! wooooo soon will hear wedding bells..

old feelings with new things

was revising on the exam ,really hope can pass this time.,so hard but back of the mind is thinking of the holidays that is coming, sometimes i think i did not choose this course,but i know that this course that i take is not by chance, it was someone that encourage me, although that someone is not around with me , but in her place others people had filled in. the void is big , but is getting smaller.

So all the best for today exam!!!!

wanted to stop cursing... hate to use words that hurt people , i remember i was not like that. what happen?

is it i reach a point that i cannot stop or i do not bothers, really really tired... wanted to stop ministry , wanted to stop going cg, wanted to stop going places. wanted to stop and just stay back and behind. of course this are funny thoughts, negative thoughts. should not be in the mind at all

in the end

so fast one week as passed . yesterday was "ren" day. Happy "ren" day 人日....

for the chinese new year period , my company ask us to take "leave" and so i have one week of leave.. and so stay home and watch my cable.. yes i got cable liao.. haha . too much channel... do not know wat to watch and yes i fell sick on chinese new year.. was not feeling well through out the week and since i just recover from flu .

And now i need to prepared for my exam in Feb.. finally exam is here.. need to dive in the books again.. exam is next week start.. fast right?

ok.. need to work now...

Chinese new year eve

wow time fly it was new year now so fast Now is Chinese new year.. the year of the ox.. moooooooooooooooooooooo


Forecast for the year financially is so bad... even the budget was working for it.. to preserve job...
so i think i must work harder.. learn faster.. and get promoted!!!! yeah!!! then yeah i can get my new EVo.....

Saw the "love matters" the movie by jack Neo.. nice and funny.. but the ending abit off.. anyway was great... good laugh..

hard to be me

recently a friend of mine just got attached. was shock but happy to hear the news.. knowing that the guy, she choose was a great guy... and I send them my blessing !!! Sometimes is weird that the people that close with you for years and u do not considered them as partners at all then one day become couple.. strange right... becos i always thought that ladies are looking out for friendship then other stuff.. , then guy is the opposite of it hahaha yeah that right that the normal guy brain function..i think being friends first is important and really then if go part 2 then ok lor.. haha but now for me is just really not ready into this... maybe is the past that i carry or i just cannot look away from my "sins" . or just plain scared and afraid to really to get into a relationship.. Hard to be me...

That's life

Happy 2009

Happy 2009 !!!

be happy!!!!! that the word to use.. although did not have a great year..... anyway my work place is not getting better.. here cut there cut... everything cut.. hope do not cut me away.. Just be thankful now got a job i must say!!! Thank GOd!!!... but i need a new hp!!!! why like that!!!

raining now.. new year raining....

New year , new goals, new things to try!!!

today missed svc.. due to me sick again.. and did not serve again.. haiz... bad stomache...

this few days was busy with friends and meet up for games....
Annie ask me a qns on the car.. "every-time u see victor not sian meh, you have been seeing him for like three days" i reply " yeah of cos sian lah..." but in my heart was thinking that time when i was very down and do not want to meet anybody.. Victor was there and he did something that shocked me and caused me to really understand the word " friendship". That day i know i lost my love but found a great friend.

Hope i can really remember it down the road.. i know i tend to forget it.. i am a person that really bad in relationship.. or i do not trust "relationship".. once bitten twice shy. so i tend to just make hi- bye friends.. of cos i have a few gd friends with me!.. Thanks GOD for them...
Coming to end of the year soon...

I want to take this time and say a BIG thanks you guys out there and being there when i need u all or not !!! haha!!

THANKS

Birthday summary

So busy recently... went to a lot of places.. been meet up with a lot of peoples...
wow got a lots of nice gifts..
here the break down:
2x shirts
1x pants
1x bag ( thanks CK for that)
1x sweater or windbreaker( i think) from ed hardy
1x Autoexe(exhust)
1x car model( Bugetti veryon)

Thank People!!!! LOve the gifts and time spend with you all...

been to places that bring old memories back... sob sob... ok nevermind me...

2 more days to Christmas

great day of makan and games

First thing first, Happy birthday to me!!!! yeah!!!

today went for cg dinner fellowship at Zhou Zhuang, eat a la carte buffet.. the food was good the fellowship was great...

After that when to play lan with the GUYS!!,, Left4Dead was a cool game, finally someone think of this Dawn of the dead's game.. kill the undead and kill them all.. ahha in the end only kern finish the game.. as howard , viz, and me is dead... was great hahah and yeah thanks Annie for the ice cream cake.. nice!!!!

till next year my frenz..... now for christmas!!!

Congrat Ben and Priscilla

Congrats Ben and Priscilla!!!! wow never knew Ben can sing so well on the wedding dinner..

Have a great marriage and Be blessed. Of cos have a lot of kids.. heard Ben want twins.. boy and girl.. jiayou !!!!

Being careful and reminded Ben not to forget things he still forgets to bring the important stuff.
I must say the the wedding was great.. .. Love the car mazda 2 yeah, and the Groom looking great in his no1 uniform and wow the Bride wedding gown.. Best so long so nice... not forgetting her high heelsssss ..

one wedding finished two more to go

thanks

been shopping on saturday and bought my blazer and stuff for ben and priscilla's wedding haha... spent amount up too 300 plus on stuff.. never know blazer so exp one.

been a great week since the Asia Conf... since i fall sick after it for two days.all my frenz say i work too hard.. take leave to fall sick,haiz... so busy with the Expo area.. like working as a "part-time DXO" . was helping the real DXO , "patrol" toilet and call for cleaners for "reinenforcement" "

still remember the last session... tearing down the stage when everyone is going home.. I must say the Sound ministry is the greatest, really !! the usher are great. the greeters are friendly ,but if the Sound ministry on" strike" then tv ministry wll have no sound for the church and the meeting will not that impactful i must say.. ahha very bias of me.

anyway next event !! Christmas!!! so fast end of the year.

work again... working at 4 am later.. till 10 am and will rush down for Asia Conf tmr morning

this few days.. was serving in Sound.. and going super early and leaving super late...

Fun , Fun and more fun.. good working with the guys and ladies in Sound.. and the DXOs!!!

of cos was doing so much work really miss a lot of the message.. but yeah i know it bad.. but yeah no choice i must say... we Sound Ministry are the pple that do the "behind" job.. hehe

"Pastor Ulf spoke of the life and love among the Father, Son and Holy Spirit that has been since before there was time. The Holy Triune continually invites mankind to draw to this unity so that the life of God can flow in and through them. All the stronger is the call for the Body of Christ to move in this degree of unity to impact this world in significant ways.

The life of God is in every believer through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us. With Him comes an infinite supply of power, wisdom, divine love, strength, joy and peace. When obstacles seem insurmountable, He gives us the faith and grace to overcome. When forgiveness is too hard for one to give, the Holy Spirit helps us in our weaknesses.

Deeper sensitivity, communion and an intimate relationship with a mighty God is what sets the church apart. It is the kind of church that will touch lives and leave a legacy in this world and for the generations to come.

In closing, Pastor Kong exhorted the people to let go of the ‘I’-factor, ie self-centredness, and begin to live a life for God and in God through the help of the Holy Spirit. Having the garbage out of our lives, the Holy Spirit can work more freely and mightily in us for God’s glory."

source- citynews.sg

Amen!!!!

updates

just blogging to say Hi ....anyway... the week has been quite tough... was busy with work and stuff was very sad when a fren had misunderstand me.. really now i must learn to draw the line.. and Now AC is coming... so yeah... took leave for AC yeah!!!!but have to miss wed nite which is the opening and friday nite session... have test on that both day.... really miss the good old sch days...

but yeah adults life is diff and demanding...


ok time to sleep..*yawn*

blogging b4 work

hmmm.. i am now at singtel com centre, if u know where is it... so tired... sleep last then 4 hours. Now waiting for the client to come.. doing yesterday job which was supposed to be done... but server having problem.. looking around me, nobody is here.. cars are few in orchard at this time.. but daylight came up just nice and look calm and blue...

while blogging, was thinking at the prayer meeting that happening around singapore now... must be cool and fun.. did not go for anyone of the meeting yet..

my fren, Adrian say that i blog too short and straight to the point. i believed that blogging is supposed to be short and and hit the nail on the spot . right? if not then how to express the thoughts fast...

my dear dog, Pepper. having the itch again... getting serious... fur is like felling off .. arhhhhhhh
Need to bring her to vet asap.

hmmm have a great day ahead.... haha (talking to myself)

Arise and Build and time loss

finally the Arise and Build is here... and i have pledge the amount that i did not prepare at all....
maybe too little that i think ... But hope that is the amount that is really i need to give...

this few weeks has been busy busy... was looking at my weeks ahead.. realise i had not much time... going to end of year.. and i am still "hollow"

giving time to pple does not help, spending time in ministry does not help.. giving time to cg does not help..

maybe is the beginning that started too late , that why...

recently i found my self getting crude and crude in words, turning "bad" like a rotten banana..